[ He grits his teeth, the mere thought making him feel sick to his stomach. ]
And you'd rather that, than stay with me?
[ He doesn't think she does, but he wants to make sure. She keeps on asking if he's certain, like there's any choice here for him. There isn't. He is in this for the long haul, and he knows this; all of the wrongness of it notwithstanding. ]
Because I want to be there for you, and I don't want you to be with anyone else. Heat or not, I just... the mere thought makes me sick. But you know this whole thing better than me. If you don't think I can take it, I can't force you to stay.
What? N-- [ Before she can interrupt further, he keeps going, explaining that all that he wants is for her to be with him and no one else, that idea of it makes him feel sick. She moves closer to him, shaking her head.]
No, Z, listen to me. [ Her hands move to his face.] I don't want anyone else. I don't want to go to anyone else either. I don't want to be with anyone but you. [ If he only knew how many people she'd turned down in the past few months who wanted her.]
I wanted to give you an out but I really didn't want you to take it.
[ Looking straight into Charlie's eyes, Z can only hope he looks as sincere as he feels. Because damn, but he does mean every single word he says, and is thinking, and more. ]
I don't want an out. I know I give you the impression I don't want to be with you, but fuck, I do, okay? I want to be with you, every minute of every day. Yeah?
[ Her smile is soft and a little sad, if only because they can't do that, they can't be together every minute of every day like he wants because of him, because of his hangups. But she knows that isn't because he doesn't want her, love her.
She presses a kiss to his lips.] Yeah. [ She affirms that she understands what he means, that he truly means it. Her arms lazily wrap around his neck as her smile turns more smug.] So no outs, no take-backsies. Things might get messy but that doesn't mean I don't love you or want to be with you.
[ He leans into her touch, wrapping his own arms around her waist, pulling her close. ]
We can deal with messy. [ Most things about their relationship is messy, anyway. They keep on fighting, pulling apart and crashing back together, two bodies gravitating towards each other constantly, like they can't help themselves.
And in Z's case, well, he really can't help himself. ]
No take-backs. Never. [ Touching his forehead to Charlie's, he leans in for another kiss, breathing in the smell of her hair as he lets it grow deep. ]
I happen to be great at messy, [ she murmurs softly, feeling that same pull that he does. She doesn't give up easily and while she hadn't expected this to go past a fling, she's happy it did, no matter how hard things get.
She returns that kiss slow and sweet, letting it fade out with a series of shorter kisses as she smiles against his lips. And then after a playful tug of his bottom lip with her teeth, she whispers:] I love you.
[ Z snorts, the noise against her lips and dearly fond and amused. He closes his eyes, letting a hand sink into her hair, holding her close as he can, chasing her lips with his when she pulls back a little.
His heart does a somersault in his chest when she says those words, though, and he cradles the back of her head, looking at Charlie with all the intent and honest in the world. ]
[ It's strange, the way her insecurities feel as though they melted away the moment she knew that he loved her. And even though she'd hoped and suspected that he did, hearing the words direct from him means the world to her. Her hands move along his shoulders, down his chest as she kisses him again.
[ There's no hesitation there, because he wants her around, all the time. He just wishes he was better at expressing that in a way that didn't make her think back of all the things he can't give her yet. ]
[ Raising an eyebrow, he grins, squeezing her waist. ]
Actually Netflix and chill, or the youth version of Netflix and chill? Because there's new episodes of Peaky Blinders on but the other thing is good with me, too.
Let's watch Peaky Blinders, [ she says as she leans in to kiss along his jaw before moving to climb off of him and crawl up his bed to get settled. Mostly, she wants to snuggle, for now, to do the tender things while they can, until things get weird.]
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And you'd rather that, than stay with me?
[ He doesn't think she does, but he wants to make sure. She keeps on asking if he's certain, like there's any choice here for him. There isn't. He is in this for the long haul, and he knows this; all of the wrongness of it notwithstanding. ]
Because I want to be there for you, and I don't want you to be with anyone else. Heat or not, I just... the mere thought makes me sick. But you know this whole thing better than me. If you don't think I can take it, I can't force you to stay.
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No, Z, listen to me. [ Her hands move to his face.] I don't want anyone else. I don't want to go to anyone else either. I don't want to be with anyone but you. [ If he only knew how many people she'd turned down in the past few months who wanted her.]
I wanted to give you an out but I really didn't want you to take it.
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I don't want an out. I know I give you the impression I don't want to be with you, but fuck, I do, okay? I want to be with you, every minute of every day. Yeah?
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She presses a kiss to his lips.] Yeah. [ She affirms that she understands what he means, that he truly means it. Her arms lazily wrap around his neck as her smile turns more smug.] So no outs, no take-backsies. Things might get messy but that doesn't mean I don't love you or want to be with you.
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We can deal with messy. [ Most things about their relationship is messy, anyway. They keep on fighting, pulling apart and crashing back together, two bodies gravitating towards each other constantly, like they can't help themselves.
And in Z's case, well, he really can't help himself. ]
No take-backs. Never. [ Touching his forehead to Charlie's, he leans in for another kiss, breathing in the smell of her hair as he lets it grow deep. ]
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She returns that kiss slow and sweet, letting it fade out with a series of shorter kisses as she smiles against his lips. And then after a playful tug of his bottom lip with her teeth, she whispers:] I love you.
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His heart does a somersault in his chest when she says those words, though, and he cradles the back of her head, looking at Charlie with all the intent and honest in the world. ]
I love you too.
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She grins, nuzzling his lips with her own.]
Can I stay awhile?
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[ There's no hesitation there, because he wants her around, all the time. He just wishes he was better at expressing that in a way that didn't make her think back of all the things he can't give her yet. ]
Please do.
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Actually Netflix and chill, or the youth version of Netflix and chill? Because there's new episodes of Peaky Blinders on but the other thing is good with me, too.
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